toddler eating behaviors

How To Use Division Of Responsibility With Picky Eaters

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Read time: 6 minutes
division of responsibility

One of the common concerns mothers voice on my Instagram page is do to with toddler eating, “How much should a toddler eat?” and “How do I get my picky eater to eat?”. This got me thinking, what is the one thing a parent can do to encourage healthy eating habits in kids, especially toddlers? My answer was in front of me as I watched my son enjoy his plate of food, happily chomping away at all types of foods, Division of responsibility.

I have spoken about Division of responsibility in feeding many times before, but I think its time I write a dedicated blog post explaining what really is a division of responsibility and how this one concept can make mealtimes stress free for many families with toddlers.

division of responsibility

WHAT IS DIVISION OF RESPONSIBILITY?

Division of responsibility is a term coined by childhood feeding expert Ellyn Satter

According to ELLYN SATTER’S DIVISION OF RESPONSIBILITY IN FEEDING

Children have a natural ability with eating. They eat as much as they need, they grow in a way that is right for them, and they learn to eat the food their parents eat. Step-by-step, throughout their growing-up years, they build on their natural ability and become competent eaters.

When talking about the toddler to adolescent years, division of responsibility dictates;

The parent is responsible for what, when, and where.

The child is responsible for how much and whether.

Trust is the foundation for future success with healthy eating. Parents trust in the child’s ability to determine how much and whether to eat from what parents provide.

When parents do their jobs with feeding, children do their jobs with eating.

Parents’ feeding jobs:

  • Choose and prepare the food.
  • Provide regular meals and snacks.
  • Make eating times pleasant.
  • Step-by-step, show children by example how to behave at family mealtime.
  • Be considerate of children’s lack of food experience without catering to likes and dislikes.

Children’s eating jobs:

  • Children will eat.
  • They will eat the amount they need.
  • They will learn to eat the food their parents eat.
  • They will grow predictably.
  • They will learn to behave well at mealtime.

Source: The Ellyn Satter Institute

HOW DIVISION OF RESPONSIBILITY CAN HELP WITH PICKY EATING

  1. The essence of the division of responsibility is based on “Trust”. Since the parent and the child have a defined role to play in feeding, the parent learns to trust in the child’s learning process. Once the pressure by the parent is off the table the child can freely explore what he likes and how much he will eat.
  2. Challenging boundaries is part of the toddler years and many toddlers love to say “No” in order to see what reaction they can get. If they get a reaction when they say “No”, the more they will say “No”. Feeding time becomes a game and the focus is shifted from the food to playing the game of testing boundaries. With Division of responsibility, since the parent is not involved in decision making once the food is on the plate, the child won’t get a reaction to the “No”. The Focus is now on the plate and not on playing games. Once the pressure is off, the child can now decide if he truly wants to eat the food on the plate or not.
division of responsibility

HOW TO HELP PICKY EATERS WITHOUT THE POWER STRUGGLES?

1. If you make special meals for your picky eating toddler, different from what the family eats, stop this practice. Get them used to the same food as the family. Change the terms you use to describe his food. There is no “special food”, “your food”, or “my food” in the home. All food in the home is “our food.”

2. Family-style meals help picky eaters, pick and choose what he likes and build his own plate of food. It involves him in the process, putting the power back into his hands. Family-style meals also get him used to the concept that food eaten by everyone in the family is the same. Example of family-style meals; Taco night, build your own burrito, make pizza with your own choice of toppings, or build a sandwich.

3. At every meal have one or two foods that you know your picky eater will eat. If its potatoes, for example, have a side of potatoes at each meal. This encourages the picky eater to eat along with family at meals instead of whining about the food. Serve his favorite food alongside all the other options at that meal.

Initially, he will just eat the food he knows and loves, but over a period of time as you continue practicing division of responsibility he will try other foods on the plate and before you know it, you all will be enjoying the same meals.

4. Encourage and give the child positive reinforcement when he does try new foods.

5. Create a positive environment around food. Talk about different types of fruits and vegetables, go out and try gardening, talk about how food is grown, cook together, engage in activities that talk about food groups and nutrition, read books on healthy eating together.

All these activities set a positive conversation around food that is centered around learning about food and creates an excitement rather than pressure to eat.

Here are some of the games and books we use to talk about food and nutrition education

The Very Hungry Caterpillar – Eric Carle

Eating The Alphabet – Lois Elhert

Lunchbox: The Story Of Your Food -Chris Butterworth

Hape Fresh Fruit Chopping Toy

Toiing Nutrivity 4-in-1 Game

6. Consistently practicing Division of responsibility is the key to long term success. Shift all your focus on providing nutrient-rich foods to your family, instead of how much is being eaten. This book by Ellyn Satter is a great guide on how to make healthy family meals and raise good eaters. A book every parent should have in their library.

7. Observe weekly consumption in order to understand nutrient intake instead of the quantity of food consumed daily. Is the child growing on track as per his growth charts?

If picky eating has been going on for a while and you are concerned about nutrients like iron and calcium, get a blood test done. Sometimes it is important to find some answers instead of passing on anxiety about food to our children. And if there are some nutritional deficiencies talk with your healthcare provider and get expert help, instead of force-feeding or labeling the child a picky eater.

Recognize that your child is learning about food from his environment and that includes you. The less negativity there is around food the better eater he will be. Learning about food is a process, engage in the process and the outcomes will happen automatically.

Do leave me a comment below if you are troubled with any specific feeding issues and challenges, I will try my best to help you with some tips and tricks.

How To Get Toddlers To Eat Vegetables Without A Fuss

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Read time: 8 minutes
how to get toddlers to eat vegetables

A frequent question I am asked on Instagram when mothers see my toddlers plate with different types of vegetables each day, is “Does your toddler eat his vegetables?” Many parents of toddlers are going through the picky eating phase and wondering, How to get toddlers to eat vegetables, without any fuss or tricking and help them enjoy vegetables too.

One of my main concerns has always been to encourage healthy eating habits for kids. If you are wondering how to get kids to eat healthily, I have a detailed blog post explaining how to create healthy meals and stock the pantry in your home in a way that helps promote healthier choices.

Read here: How I get my child to eat healthy every day

If picky eating is an issue in your home and you are wondering how to get a picky eater to eat, head to this blog post to understand common toddler eating problems and tackle them.

Toddler years come with their set of challenging behaviors that translate to the table too. Once parents identify the behavior and understand how to tackle each behavior creatively and consistently many of these fussy eating patterns disappear.

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO EAT VEGETABLES EVERY DAY?

  1. Vegetables provide essential vitamins and minerals needed by growing bodies, especially Vitamin C, folic acid and certain antioxidants to name a few.
  2. Eating the right amount of vegetables per day protects against various diseases and illnesses such as cancers, cardiovascular ailments, and diabetes.
  3. Vegetables contain fiber that protects the bowels, reducing the risk of certain cancers.
  4. Eating a good amount of vegetables per day also reduces the risk of obesity.
  5. Food preferences formed early in life tend to continue into adult life. Therefore developing an early love for vegetables and vegetarian dishes can help your child have a long healthy life.

For an average toddler, you should aim for 2-3 servings of vegetables a day. (source)

WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN TRYING TO ENCOURAGE YOUR TODDLER TO EAT VEGETABLES

Most parents use rewards, pressure tactics or punishments to try and get their children to eat more vegetables.

Research has shown that these tactics do more harm than good.

When you restrict certain food items it causes more preference for the restricted food item. Pressurizing, on the other hand, causes children to have a negative association with food.

A balanced approach to food choices, coupled with education on nutrition and hands-on experience with healthy food is needed to tilt the child’s preferences towards healthy food groups.

How to get toddlers to eat vegetables-how to deal with picky eaters

HOW TO GET TODDLERS TO EAT VEGETABLES

  1. Education and Experience

Education lays the foundation for lifelong practices. Getting toddlers involved in hands-on activities like cooking, gardening may encourage greater vegetable consumption.

If you have a garden that’s great, start planting a variety of veggies with your child. Some your favorites and some of your toddler’s favorites.

No garden, that’s okay too, get your toddler involved in the kitchen. Here is a post I wrote on how to cook with toddlers. I included a few easy flameless recipes to try with toddlers. Cooking and making something encourages them to try what they make. In my experience, everything I make with my son has always been a hit with him. He loves the activity and enjoys eating the dishes we make together.

Another way to give a hands-on experience with foods is to take toddlers and older children to the local market. Let them touch, taste and smell fresh fruit and vegetables. These experiences start conversations around the local foods, your cultural food history, memories from your own childhood enjoying these foods.

Creating such an interest in food is important in order to encourage your child to try some of the vegetables on his plate.

  1. Parental modeling

Parents play an important role in shaping children’s eating patterns.

In a recent study, it was found that mothers who ate fruit and vegetables in pregnancy had kids with lower levels of picky eating.

Good eating habits including high consumption of vegetables start at home. Younger children are influenced by parents first, when they see their parents enjoying vegetarian dishes regularly they are more inclined to try the same.

One way to do this is by eating family-style meals or build a taco/burrito type of nights. On these days, lay out the ingredients on the table (try and find a dish that is a crowd pleaser) and add as many vegetables as you can. Looking at you make your own sandwich or taco is a great mimicking opportunity for your toddler.

  1. Wait until hungry

Throughout the toddler years, the routine is constantly challenged. Toddlers have a habit of constantly grazing on food. When it is time for dinner, they don’t have any appetite left.

I usually send my son out to the park just before dinner, that way he is hungry by the time he is home and eats a big dinner.

Other times I don’t fuss if he says no to a meal, I just wait until he is hungry and offer the same meal I originally offered. If he doesn’t eat lunch at lunchtime, I wait and offer lunch after play and nap time.

Point to be noted: Kids eat their vegetables really well when they are ravenously hungry.

  1. Vegetable snacks

Another option is to add more vegetables to snacks or offer vegetables straight up cut into finger-sized portions as snacks.

Cut up carrots, cucumbers, beets, boiled corn, bell peppers and offer these as finger foods to munch on between meals.

Add vegetables to smoothies, savory muffins, savory pancakes or waffles. Kids love these types of snacks and you are assured about vegetable consumption.

Here is an interesting excerpt from a research paper I read recently:

Making foods available and accessible to children has been associated with intake of fruit and vegetable in children. (Rasmussen et al., 2006).

Availability of food means that a given food is present in the children’s immediate environment (e.g., fruit and vegetables present in the home and available in the school). Accessibility concerns whether the given foods are present in a place and form that facilitates their consumption, eg sliced vegetables.

Making vegetables available and accessible to children, for example in school canteens or a veggie platter at home appear to be an effective strategy for increasing the intake of vegetables.

The repeated exposure to a variety of fruit and vegetables thus leads to an increase in children’s intake, offering an actual and sustainable effect on children’s eating behavior. (source)

how to get toddlers to eat vegetables - picky eaters

  1. Plating combinations

Another trick is to make vegetables the first course at dinner. If you know your child will fill up on the mashed potatoes and meat dishes on the plate, serve vegetables first.

Start the meal with a vegetarian appetizer or sauteed/grilled vegetables followed by the rest of the dinner menu. This way your child has taken at least one bite of his veggies before moving on to his other favorites.

As long as he is trying one bite each time, the day will come when he eats his entire serving of vegetables.

If you can’t do courses you can also try and plate vegetables with other not-so-favorite foods, this encourages the child to try the vegetables. Keep the child’s favorite food for last, this way they don’t just fill up on their favorite ignoring the veggies.

  1. Add vegetables to everything

One trick that worked with me when I was a child, was adding vegetables in dishes I liked. One of the foods I loved as a child was scrambled eggs, my mom took my favorite dish and made it yummier by adding vegetables like finely chopped spring onions, peas, and carrots. This was the only way I ate those vegetables as a child.

I usually don’t recommend sneaking veggies into toddler food, but when your toddler doesn’t eat any veggies this might be a good idea.

Smoothies, vegetable sandwiches, veggie fritters, and patty, burritos, pasta, fried rice, stuffed parathas are all great dishes to hide those vegetables in.

Combine vegetables with other grains, proteins, and healthy fats to make them as delicious as possible. No one likes straight up steamed veggies all the time, get creative with how you cook your veggies.

To get an idea of how I pair foods and offer vegetables to my toddler you can read these blog posts. You will see some of the points I mentioned here in practice;

What my toddler eats in a week

A week of healthy toddler meals

If you are still wondering,

How to get toddlers to eat vegetables?

Remember, parental modeling, consistent exposure and hands-on experience is your best bet for long-term and sustained change in toddler eating behaviors.

How do you get your toddler to eat vegetables? If you have some secret mommy tricks or ways to encourage healthy eating, do leave me a comment below.